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The Meditation

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Welcome to the meditation.

Now that you’ve developed an understanding of awareness and calmness, I can now talk to you about meditation.

Meditation is the core mechanism through which we will develop both awareness and calmness.

It’s an incredibly simple process which anyone can practice, almost anywhere.

Which is vital when you consider that most of us are beginning with a very limited level of conscious awareness to begin with.

And therefore are prone to giving up, or simply forgetting why we’ve bothered to commit to our mental health in the first place.

I find it interesting when I ask people about their core coping strategies for dealing with urges.

Because a lot of the time they’ll mention things like exercise, taking cold showers or simply avoiding pornography outright.

Which is a great start, but then I’ll ask, what if you’re experiencing an urge on public transport or at work, or you happen to accidentally glimpse at porn. How would you deal with it then?

In most cases, they’ll say that they’re unable to deal with those situations, and that they’ll most likely relapse.

Meditation is effective not only because it directly targets our mind, but because we can practice it anywhere.

It doesn’t matter how noisy or disruptive or even calm your surroundings are. All situations provide the perfect opportunity to practice meditation and develop control over our mind.

If I had to describe what meditation is, first and foremost I would say that it’s a practice.

A lot of people have developed the idea that meditation is this spiritual, esoteric thing which is highly complex and therefore requires years of study to truly understand.

From a process perspective, this is not true. It’s really no different to bouncing a ball in order to become a better basketballer, or lifting weights in order to become stronger.

Certainly, there is technique involved, however it’s not out of anyone’s reach, nor is there anything highly obscure about it.

Yep, that’s literally all meditation is.

Observing what your body is feeling relative to the world around you.

Now, the reason why people struggle with meditation is funnily enough, because most people have no idea how to observe their senses.

Although we rely on our sight, our sense of smell, our hearing and our sense of touch on a second-by-second basis.

Modern humans have a really difficult time actually focusing, let alone identifying what their bodies are trying to communicate with them.

Part of the reason is that modern humans have largely been taught to think, rather than to sense.

Which when left unchecked, leads to self-criticism, over-rationalisation, self-doubt, fear and ultimately, neglection of the actively conscious side of our brain.

Meditation on the other hand aims to rectify these deficiencies by teaching us to regain consciousness over our senses.

What a lot of people don’t know is that observation is a fantastic counter-balance to thought.

In large part because it’s almost impossible to consciously think when you’re focusing on your senses.

And much like our thoughts, our senses are also directly connected to us (often in a more primal way), and therefore serve as a perfect medium to help us regain control over our minds.

On the other hand, if I had to describe what meditation does from a high-level point of view, I would say that it’s designed to teach you control over your emotions.

The way it does this is by teaching us to actively calm our mind, without judgement and without reaction, by focusing our attention on our senses.

Control is a funny thing, because a lot of us assume that it’s about grabbing onto something and not allowing it to escape.

When in actuality, much like getting tense in reaction to stress, we’re much less in control when pursuing this way of thinking, because we’re resultingly giving up our freedom to choose.

Because what’s really happened is that in attempting to control something, we’re actually letting it control us and dictate how we respond in order to obtain it.

Instead, effective control is more about letting go and having the freedom not to worry about whether we conceptually own something or not.

It comes down to focusing on yourself and your own senses, which you actually have domain over, and this idea of letting go will be key to your success.

As stated initially, meditation doesn’t require a rediculous amount of effort.

To be quite frank, 10 minutes of meditation before bed for most people is usually more-than enough, and it’s how I personally got started.

Certainly, it’s one of the most effective investments you can make for your mental health.

While that covers most of the basics, I’d also like to provide you with a key tip which helped me immensely when I first started out.

Always aim to keep your mind as wide and open as possible when practicing meditation.

Often as a first response, people will get really tense in order to try and focus their mind.

In reality, meditation isn’t really about focus. Rather, focus is merely a by-product of keeping your mind open, rather than the process itself.

Remember that calmness and meditation are about letting go, so relaxing and keeping your mind wide and open is the easiest approach towards reaching that ideal state of mind where you’re actually in-control of yourself.

If you’d like to explore this topic further, I’ve written a few articles which explain some of these aspects in further detail:

The Importance Of Meditation For Porn Addiction


Observe Your Senses


I hope you’ve gained a better understanding of meditation, as well as why it’s important.


Next steps.

Now that we’ve covered all the central topics surrounding the NeverFap Deluxe Method of overcoming porn addiction.

I want to discuss additional topics such as attitude, as well as how we can set healthy expectations towards our porn addiction recovery.

Thank you for reading and I’ll see you here tomorrow.

NeverFap Deluxe
Latest Guided Meditation EP3 - Free Guided Meditation Series
Available on iTunes, Spotify and Castbox. Open Source under the GNU GPLv3 licence.