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Welcome to the awareness.
Awareness is the first concept we’ll discuss, because it’s one of the most powerful tools you’ll have in terms of helping you overcome your porn addiction.
Awareness is a largely misunderstood concept, because most of us assume that it’s this thing that we are by default.
“I can think, I can consciously make decisions, I’m highly intelligent and I’m aware of most aspects of my personality, so therefore I’m aware right?”
Certainly, this is a huge simplification of what awareness is, let alone how we can utilise the power of awareness as a tool for effective change.
In order to develop a strong foundation for this concept, we must first understand what awareness is.
Awareness is our ability to remain conscious.
Unlike raw consciousness however, it relates to the extent to which we can remain conscious, inspite of what is happening both internal and external to us. For example, when you’re experiencing and urge, or even depression.
And when you’re able to remain highly conscious of something, it gives you an incredible amount of power to take affirmative action.
Put simply, your lack of consistent consciousness is the reason why you’re addicted to porn, and is why you have difficulty consciously changing your behaviours.
Not just your behaviours, but your emotions, your actions and everything else which is supporting your habit.
While we are all conscious, that is not to say that we are all necessarily aware.
Instead, awareness is a highly specialised skill, which is to say that awareness must be developed through practice.
Furthermore, it’s to say that awareness is not something which people inherently have, no different to being physically ripped. It’s something you develop.
It can help to think of awareness as a spectrum, from being highly aware to not being aware at all.
This spectrum of awareness is the very reason why some people crumble in high-pressure situations, while others can seem to get through these situations in a breeze.
While both individuals are equally as conscious from the perspective of human biology, both can have very different levels of awareness.
One common test to see where you sit on this spectrum, is gauge how well and how long you can maintain your attention.
Clear of any thought, emotion, judgement or expectation. If you’re highly practiced in awareness, you’ll be able to hold this state of mind for at least 10 minutes or longer.
Those without the ability however, usually can only hold a thought for only a few seconds, before mentally straying off-topic or becoming agitated.
Now, in the context of your porn addiction, this difference is a huge advantage in terms of dealing with your general feelings and emotions.
For starters, when you’re having an urge to watch porn for example, no longer will you struggle or react in hesitation.
Instead, you’ll recognise the importance of remaining calm, act rationally and dissolve those feelings immediately.
This is all while your immediate mind and emotions are working against you, making it especially more difficult if you struggle to meditate normally when things are calm.
On the other hand, with a high level of awareness, these kinds of situations become trivial to deal with.
Because you’re instantly able to cut through those feelings and simply come to an instant state of calm. In other words, awareness is your ability to navigate through your mind in order to pursue healthy coping mechanisms.
Ultimately, it is what will allow you to assert control over yourself, in almost every way, shape or form.
In fact, your awareness is the reason why you’re reading this paragraph, because at some point you made the conscious decision to do something about your porn addiction.
Since awareness is a skill, what this means is that the only way we can obtain it is through practice.
Only by practicing awareness can we learn to snap into consciousness at the worst of times, and therefore pursue healthy coping mechanisms without difficulty. It is your capacity for conscious action and your core mechanism for maintaining civil accountablity over your actions.
It will be key to your success.
Tomorrow we’ll go into some of the practices you can do to help you regain control over your mind.