This website primarily uses cookies to implement Dark Mode.

The Dutch made me put this message on my website.

Read more

I totally understand

Dark Mode

Menu.

x

Guides

Content

Programs

Volunteer

Apps

Misc

You Are Present

/you-are-present

Learning to be present in the current moment is a vital skill.

tldr;

Awareness over all

What

Truly understand of what it means to be present.

How

By learning to let go of our thoughts and feelings and simply remain present with ourselves.

When

Throughout the day.

Duration

A few moments at a time.

2019-09-06

Context

This exercise is all about understanding this idea of what it means to be truly present with yourself.

In fact, porn addiction recovery is largely a process of self-discovery within itself, so there really is no alternative to dedicating your time towards practicing these meditative and introspective exercises.

Certainly, what I can say that self-discovery isn’t something which happens on it’s own. It’s a process of putting one foot in front of the other, no different to any other endeavour in life.

Anyway, I digress.


So what exactly does it mean to be present with oneself?


Contrary to popular belief, being present is actually about completely letting go of all your thoughts, feelings and emotions.

It’s a state of mind where you do not feel preoccupied by anything in particular, where you become free to actually see yourself and the world clearly.

Without the execess of thought or emotion to cloud your view.

Instead, I think a lot of people have this idea that being present is about remaining alarmed and focused, which fundamentally doesn’t make sense from a mechanical point of view.

Because it’s impossible to be both focused and free at the same time, your mind only has the capacity to be in one of those states at any given moment.

It’s a bit like saying that a cup can be both empty and full, it’s simply not possible.


And when you're able to completely let go, then it affords you the opportunity to be truly present with yourself.


Arguably this is the intention of all the exercises on NeverFap Deluxe, to help you learn to let go in some way so you can increase your capacity for awareness in a variety of situations.

However unlike other exercises, this particular exercise intends to be quite direct.

What we want to do with this exercise is focus our attention on being present with ourselves, and really become comfortable with this idea of living without thought or distraction.

Certainly, it can help to understand that when you’re present with yourself, you’re not just present with your mind.

You’re present with an individual which wears certain clothes and has a particular taste in music, and which has a personality and life unique to that person.

In other words, what we want to do is really connect with this idea of ‘self’ in order to better understand this feeling of who you are, in this present moment.

Although a large part of NeverFap Deluxe is about learning to dissolve our ego, it’s undeniable that our ego also an incredibly useful construct which helps us get through the day-to-day.

Certainly, the goal of NeverFap Deluxe isn’t so much to replace our ego, as it is to be able to have control over it and be able to dissolve it at will.

And part of what will make us effective as human beings is learning to be present with ourselves not only when we’re calm and collected, but also when our mind is completely distracted and in chaos.


There's this huge misconception about recovery that it must be perfect.


And that every single meditation we partake must achieve a certain state of clarity in order to be effective.

This simply isn’t true.

Meditations where we’re feeling completely distracted are often the most valuable, because it’s like trying to run a marathon through a sandstorm.

Sure, it’s going to be difficult, if not outright impossible, but the skills gained are all relative and will help you function even better when the conditions are smooth.


Instructions


For this exercise what I want you to do is focus your attention on being present with yourself.

And in order to effectively do this, we must be actively meditating and focusing our attention on dissolving our thoughts and feelings throughout the day.

Because only by letting go, can we truly be present with ourselves.

In addition, I also want you to think about the person which you identify with and it can even help to imagine as if you’re being with yourself in 3rd person.

Certainly, this exercise is more of a theme than it is about practicing something unique, however it’s an incredibly important theme which is why I want you to spend some time working on it.

Essentially, I want you to spend the next week-or-so thinking about these ideas, and making it the focus of your life.

Think about how you can be present with yourself, and what that means to the overall balance of your life.

Share on:

Comments

There are no comments yet for this article!

Leave A Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.

Further Questions?

Head on down to our NeverFap Deluxe subreddit or Discord where myself and others can help you with your questions.

Personal Coaching?

Let's organise a 10 Minute FREE Consultation so you can understand how The Reade© can help you achieve your goals.

NeverFap Deluxe Family

The NeverFap Deluxe Bible

/neverfap-deluxe-bible

Guided NeverFap Deluxe Meditation Series

/meditation

7 Day NeverFap Deluxe Kickstarter

/seven-day-kickstarter

Chrome NeverFap Deluxe Extension

/chrome-extension

Firefox NeverFap Deluxe Extension

/firefox-extension

Mobile NeverFap Deluxe Android App

/mobile-app

The NeverFap Deluxe Subreddit

/r/NeverFapDeluxe

YouTube NeverFap Deluxe Channel

/neverfap-deluxe-youtube

Twitter NeverFap Deluxe Account

/neverfap-deluxe-twitter

GitHub NeverFap Deluxe Open Source

/open-source

Instagram NeverFap Deluxe Account

/neverfap-deluxe-instagram

The NeverFap Deluxe Patreon

/neverfap-deluxe-patreon

Facebook NeverFap Deluxe Page

/neverfap-deluxe-facebook

Pinterest NeverFap Deluxe Account

/neverfap-deluxe-pinterest

Tumblr NeverFap Deluxe Account

/neverfap-deluxe-tumblr

Latest Articles

The Importance Of Developing A Mental Health Plan

/the-importance-of-developing-a-mental-health-plan

In this article we speak about the importance of having a solid mental health plan in place and how this can assist you with your recovery.

Summary:

  • Having a solid mental health plan puts you ahead of most people.
  • A mental health plan is designed to provide you with hard certainty.

Does Being In A Relationship Help With Overcoming Porn Addiction?

/does-being-in-a-relationship-help-with-overcoming-porn-addiction

In this article I discuss whether being in a relationship can help with your porn addiction recovery.

Summary:

  • Being in a relationship can help you better overcome your addiction.
  • Being in a relationship is by no means necessary for recovery.
  • Porn addiction recovery has absolutely nothing to do with sex.

Why We Struggle

/why-we-struggle

By identifying how we struggle, we can better understand the dynamics with which we think about the problems in our life.

Summary:

  • Struggle is a reflection of how you respond to expectation.
  • By learning to dissolve expectation we can learn to live without struggle in life.

The Difference Between NoFap And NeverFap Deluxe

/the-difference-between-nofap-and-neverfapdeluxe

In this article I discuss the fundamental difference between NoFap and NeverFap Deluxe as porn recovery ideologies.

Summary:

  • NeverFap Deluxe provides an opinionated method for recovery, while NoFap is not.
  • NeverFap Deluxe aims to rectify all of the shortcomings of NoFap.

Is Porn Fundamentally Wrong?

/is-porn-fundamentally-wrong

In this article I explore some this idea of pornography and whether it is wrong from a moral perspective.

Summary:

  • I don't believe there is anything fundamentally wrong with porn.
  • Understanding that porn is wrong is not a healthy attitude towards recovery, nor does it help us recover.

There Are No Super Powers When You Quit Porn

/there-are-no-super-powers-when-you-quit-porn

In this article I explore this idea of "super powers" and the benefits people perceive they might receive once they overcome their porn addiction.

Summary:

  • Overcoming porn addiction allows you to live your life with greater purpose.
  • Overcoming porn addiction doesn't instantly grant you anything, only a renewed opportunity to develop as an individual.

The Fallacy Of Motivation

/the-fallacy-of-motivation

In this article I write about the pitfalls of using motivation as a driving force for change in the context of porn addiciton recovery.

Summary:

  • Motivation is not persistent, it comes and goes.
  • Only by sticking to fundamental principles can you hope to guarantee success in your recovery.

7 Day NeverFap Deluxe Kickstarter

Boost your knowledge of meditation and awareness best practice with our FREE NeverFap Deluxe 7 day email series.

The Introduction - Day 0

The Trust - Day 1

The Awareness - Day 2

The Calmness - Day 3

The Meditation - Day 4

The Relapse - Day 5

The Consistency - Day 6

The Community - Day 7

Receive an email each day covering the basics of the NeverFap Deluxe Method!

NeverFap Deluxe
Latest Guided Meditation EP3 - Free Guided Meditation Series
Available on iTunes, Spotify and Castbox. Open Source under the GNU GPLv3 licence.