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You Are Present

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Learning to be present in the current moment is a vital skill.

tldr;

Awareness over all

What

Truly understand of what it means to be present.

How

By learning to let go of our thoughts and feelings and simply remain present with ourselves.

When

Throughout the day.

Duration

A few moments at a time.

2019-09-06

Context

This exercise is all about understanding this idea of what it means to be truly present with yourself.

In fact, porn addiction recovery is largely a process of self-discovery within itself, so there really is no alternative to dedicating your time towards practicing these meditative and introspective exercises.

Certainly, what I can say that self-discovery isn’t something which happens on it’s own. It’s a process of putting one foot in front of the other, no different to any other endeavour in life.

Anyway, I digress.


So what exactly does it mean to be present with oneself?


Contrary to popular belief, being present is actually about completely letting go of all your thoughts, feelings and emotions.

It’s a state of mind where you do not feel preoccupied by anything in particular, where you become free to actually see yourself and the world clearly.

Without the execess of thought or emotion to cloud your view.

Instead, I think a lot of people have this idea that being present is about remaining alarmed and focused, which fundamentally doesn’t make sense from a mechanical point of view.

Because it’s impossible to be both focused and free at the same time, your mind only has the capacity to be in one of those states at any given moment.

It’s a bit like saying that a cup can be both empty and full, it’s simply not possible.


And when you're able to completely let go, then it affords you the opportunity to be truly present with yourself.


Arguably this is the intention of all the exercises on NeverFap Deluxe, to help you learn to let go in some way so you can increase your capacity for awareness in a variety of situations.

However unlike other exercises, this particular exercise intends to be quite direct.

What we want to do with this exercise is focus our attention on being present with ourselves, and really become comfortable with this idea of living without thought or distraction.

Certainly, it can help to understand that when you’re present with yourself, you’re not just present with your mind.

You’re present with an individual which wears certain clothes and has a particular taste in music, and which has a personality and life unique to that person.

In other words, what we want to do is really connect with this idea of ‘self’ in order to better understand this feeling of who you are, in this present moment.

Although a large part of NeverFap Deluxe is about learning to dissolve our ego, it’s undeniable that our ego also an incredibly useful construct which helps us get through the day-to-day.

Certainly, the goal of NeverFap Deluxe isn’t so much to replace our ego, as it is to be able to have control over it and be able to dissolve it at will.

And part of what will make us effective as human beings is learning to be present with ourselves not only when we’re calm and collected, but also when our mind is completely distracted and in chaos.


There's this huge misconception about recovery that it must be perfect.


And that every single meditation we partake must achieve a certain state of clarity in order to be effective.

This simply isn’t true.

Meditations where we’re feeling completely distracted are often the most valuable, because it’s like trying to run a marathon through a sandstorm.

Sure, it’s going to be difficult, if not outright impossible, but the skills gained are all relative and will help you function even better when the conditions are smooth.


Instructions


For this exercise what I want you to do is focus your attention on being present with yourself.

And in order to effectively do this, we must be actively meditating and focusing our attention on dissolving our thoughts and feelings throughout the day.

Because only by letting go, can we truly be present with ourselves.

In addition, I also want you to think about the person which you identify with and it can even help to imagine as if you’re being with yourself in 3rd person.

Certainly, this exercise is more of a theme than it is about practicing something unique, however it’s an incredibly important theme which is why I want you to spend some time working on it.

Essentially, I want you to spend the next week-or-so thinking about these ideas, and making it the focus of your life.

Think about how you can be present with yourself, and what that means to the overall balance of your life.

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