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Identifying The Feeling Of Obligation

/identifying-the-feeling-of-obligation

By identifying where and when we feel obliged to act, we can learn to develop better control over our mind as well as our capacity for awareness.

tldr;

Balance over reward

What

Develop our awareness of the feeling of obligation.

How

By taking note of when we feel obliged to do something.

When

When the urge arises.

Duration

As long as required.

2019-06-13

Context

In order for us to better understand this exercise, it can help to talk about this concept of change, as it’s largely what we’re trying to initiate here.

An interesting thing to note about change is that it’s often assumed to act like some kind of switch that flicks on in the back of your mind, which sudden propels you into a state of doing and becoming.

Certainly, this kind of attitude culminates from typical victim mindsets, whereby we believe we are not responsible for the outcomes in our life, and are instead subject to our circumstances.

Instead, what we are going to do with this exercise is express change as an active and conscious idea, in which we are 100% in control of ourselves.

After all, the premise of NeverFap Deluxe is to help us develop our capacity for conscious awareness, so that we can develop the ability to act inspite of our existing dysfunction.


And the very thing which we are attempting to address is the obligation we feel not to succeed.


That’s correct, your obligation not to succeed.

Whenever you decide not to meditate, follow through with your dreams or use your time in a meaningful and productive way, you give power to your obligation not to succeed.

Of course, we never frame it like that.

Instead, we say that we’re too tired to try or that we never had a chance to begin with.

Because we didn’t have the conscious awareness to recognise those lies for what they were.

Certainly, I’m not blaming you. Perhaps it’s what you do because you’re afraid of knowing the truth, or in a lot of cases because you’ve simply never been taught otherwise.

When you frame your actions in terms of excuses, reasons and feelings, they no longer seem so harmful and meaningless. Instead, they make us feel justified in our decisions.

Which is also how we learn to cope with our own directionlessness.

Yet in the bigger picture of our own goals, these “feelings” from an action perspective are nothing more than a flawed process which merely delays your potential for success in life.

Which is also to say that success isn’t a feeling.

Rather, success a very hard doing and when we don’t “feel” like doing, then we most certainly have a problem.

Ultimately what this is means is that we need to stop fixating on that feeling or obligation we feel like we have not to succeed, and instead place our attention onto actually executing and pursuing those empowering actions.

The same principles also apply to our feelings (or obligation) to succeed. At the end of the day they are all still feelings, which can and will be abused.

As opposed to hard actions which verifiably lead to successful outcomes.

So in essence, this exercise is designed to help you change how your mind works and responds in regards to that sense of obligation you feel,, when you simply don’t feel like being your best self.

Which is why a lot of people find this exercise challenging, despite of how simple it actually is.

Just remember that awareness is a skill, and if it’s a skill you’ve never practiced before, don’t be surprised if you struggle.

These are all skills that ideally we should have learnt as a child, so now we’re merely catching up so we no longer have to struggle with our existing ineffective coping mechanisms.


Instructions


The idea behind this exercise is to identify those feelings and obligations which prevent us from being successful.

Not to judge, but simply to observe and notice how you react in regards to these feelings.

Often, simply noticing these feelings is more-than enough for us to learn not to react to them.

However, once you do identify those feelings, all I ask of you is relax into them.

Relax into those feelings. Take note of them. Then simply move on.

There’s nothing to question. Nothing to think about. Because ultimately, this is how we should be living our lives.

Without fear, reaction or anxiety.

Simply continuing to maintain balance so we can remain as effective as possible.

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