This website primarily uses cookies to implement Dark Mode.

The Dutch made me put this message on my website.

Read more

I totally understand

Dark Mode

Menu.

x

Guides

Content

Programs

Volunteer

Apps

Misc

Annoy Yourself

/annoy-yourself

With this exercise we are going to attempt to engage with our subconscious mind by imagining visual processes.

tldr;

Choice over mind

What

Better understand how you react and respond to your beliefs.

How

Attempt to consciously annoy yourself.

When

Throughout the day.

Duration

A few seconds at a time.

2019-10-19

Context

In order to understand what this exercise fundamentally aims to address, it can help to understand the dynamics of how we become annoyed within the first place.

Because once you understand how it happens, the whole premise becomes crystal-clear and you may even find it impossible to become annoyed again.

…or at the very least be able to recognise how silly it is when you find yourself getting caught up in the motions out of habit.

Habits and behaviours we’ve likely maintained since childhood, which will take time and conscious effort to truly dissolve.

Ultimately, the premise is quite simple.


You create a personal agreement which states that you will feel annoyed.


And that’s literally it.

What happens is that we create the agreement, then a particular circumstance fulfils that agreement, and then we create the corresponding emotion.

Otherwise known as “taking something personally”.

Which when you phrase it like that, sounds as if it’s your external circumstances which are responsible for how you feel, when really it’s the agreement you’ve personally created which is behind this whole mess.

The reason why it’s silly is because you can literally create an agreement about anything.

You can say you’re going to get really angry if it happen to see a cloud, or that you’re going to feel really sad if you don’t receive flowers from a random stranger.

It’s a bit like when you see someone get really upset over something which you personally could care less about, like when someone absolutely loses their cool over a personal dispute you have absolutely nothing to do with.

The reason why you don’t have that emotional reaction is because you don’t have the same agreements as they do.


Furthermore, it also exposes how willingly we'll allow ourselves to self-harm via our own beliefs.


Which is absolutely insane when you think about it.

It’s like we intentionally set ourselves up to feel awful about ourselves, and it’s something most of us remain completely oblivious to.

The reason why people struggle not to take things personally is because they fail to identify when they create the agreement, as well as when they trigger it.

Instead, what they do is identify and embrace the feeling.

And when all you can see the is that feeling, the very result of taking something personally, then inherently it will merely reinforce the validity of your experience as something that is out of our control.

Well, these feelings do not reflect what is actually going on. You do have control in these situations, because you created the agreement which means you also have the ability to dissolve them as well.

Ultimately the idea of something like awareness is that we’re learning the ability to be able to catch ourselves when we create these agreements, so we can dissolve them and move forward.

Our end goal is to be able to identify and dissolve these personal agreements at will, and to live our life free of agreement.

Self-created beliefs which take power away from our ability to remain neutral and in balance with ourselves.


Instructions


With this context in mind, your task is to try and annoy yourself, in order to understand on a conscious level what actually happens when you get annoyed.

It can help to think back to previous moments.

What makes you feel annoyed? What agreements have you personally created in your own life? What circumstances fulfil those agreements?

While there’s nothing to practice per-say, this exercise is more about getting you to consciously think about these things throughout the day.

Certainly, what we are doing with this exercise is learning to think differently about how we react to our emotions, as an aspect of our personality which we are responsible for.

And once you have this understanding, it can provide you with the ability to avoid self-created suffering.

The funny thing about modern humans is that we’ve learnt to put our feelings first before our beliefs.

Which is to say that we automatically assume that our feelings are correct first, and that everything else is a consequence of that.

For example, I’m currently writing this article on the train and there’s this lady who’s playing music on her phone without headphones, and initially it annoyed me.

But if you make the agreement that this music is actually something enjoyable to be appreciated, then you no longer need to fight those feelings, because the feelings themselves disappear.

Of course, part of the reason why we don’t inherently do this is because we buy into the agreement, instead of identifying it as a self-created construct.

Which is cool, because that’s exactly what we’re trying to develop with this exercise, and simply means that we haven’t yet developed the self-awareness to identify these agreements yet.

Only through self-awareness can we hope to identify that which we want to change.

So go out there. Try and observe the dynamics of being annoyed, and see where it takes you.

Share on:

Comments

There are no comments yet for this article!

Leave A Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.

Further Questions?

Head on down to our NeverFap Deluxe subreddit or Discord where myself and others can help you with your questions.

Personal Coaching?

Let's organise a 10 Minute FREE Consultation so you can understand how The Reade© can help you achieve your goals.

NeverFap Deluxe Family

The NeverFap Deluxe Bible

/neverfap-deluxe-bible

Guided NeverFap Deluxe Meditation Series

/meditation

7 Day NeverFap Deluxe Kickstarter

/seven-day-kickstarter

Chrome NeverFap Deluxe Extension

/chrome-extension

Firefox NeverFap Deluxe Extension

/firefox-extension

Mobile NeverFap Deluxe Android App

/mobile-app

The NeverFap Deluxe Subreddit

/r/NeverFapDeluxe

YouTube NeverFap Deluxe Channel

/neverfap-deluxe-youtube

Twitter NeverFap Deluxe Account

/neverfap-deluxe-twitter

GitHub NeverFap Deluxe Open Source

/open-source

Instagram NeverFap Deluxe Account

/neverfap-deluxe-instagram

The NeverFap Deluxe Patreon

/neverfap-deluxe-patreon

Facebook NeverFap Deluxe Page

/neverfap-deluxe-facebook

Pinterest NeverFap Deluxe Account

/neverfap-deluxe-pinterest

Tumblr NeverFap Deluxe Account

/neverfap-deluxe-tumblr

Latest Articles

The Importance Of Developing A Mental Health Plan

/the-importance-of-developing-a-mental-health-plan

In this article we speak about the importance of having a solid mental health plan in place and how this can assist you with your recovery.

Summary:

  • Having a solid mental health plan puts you ahead of most people.
  • A mental health plan is designed to provide you with hard certainty.

Does Being In A Relationship Help With Overcoming Porn Addiction?

/does-being-in-a-relationship-help-with-overcoming-porn-addiction

In this article I discuss whether being in a relationship can help with your porn addiction recovery.

Summary:

  • Being in a relationship can help you better overcome your addiction.
  • Being in a relationship is by no means necessary for recovery.
  • Porn addiction recovery has absolutely nothing to do with sex.

Why We Struggle

/why-we-struggle

By identifying how we struggle, we can better understand the dynamics with which we think about the problems in our life.

Summary:

  • Struggle is a reflection of how you respond to expectation.
  • By learning to dissolve expectation we can learn to live without struggle in life.

The Difference Between NoFap And NeverFap Deluxe

/the-difference-between-nofap-and-neverfapdeluxe

In this article I discuss the fundamental difference between NoFap and NeverFap Deluxe as porn recovery ideologies.

Summary:

  • NeverFap Deluxe provides an opinionated method for recovery, while NoFap is not.
  • NeverFap Deluxe aims to rectify all of the shortcomings of NoFap.

Is Porn Fundamentally Wrong?

/is-porn-fundamentally-wrong

In this article I explore some this idea of pornography and whether it is wrong from a moral perspective.

Summary:

  • I don't believe there is anything fundamentally wrong with porn.
  • It's not a healthy attitude towards recovery, nor does it help us recover.

There Are No Super Powers When You Quit Porn

/there-are-no-super-powers-when-you-quit-porn

In this article I explore this idea of "super powers" and the benefits people perceive they might receive once they overcome their porn addiction.

Summary:

  • Overcoming porn addiction allows you to live your life with greater purpose.
  • Overcoming porn addiction doesn't instantly grant you anything, only a renewed opportunity to develop as an individual.

The Fallacy Of Motivation

/the-fallacy-of-motivation

In this article I write about the pitfalls of using motivation as a driving force for change in the context of porn addiciton recovery.

Summary:

  • Motivation is not persistent, it comes and goes.
  • Only by sticking to fundamental principles can you hope to guarantee success in your recovery.

7 Day NeverFap Deluxe Kickstarter

Boost your knowledge of meditation and awareness best practice with our FREE NeverFap Deluxe 7 day email series.

The Introduction - Day 0

The Trust - Day 1

The Awareness - Day 2

The Calmness - Day 3

The Meditation - Day 4

The Relapse - Day 5

The Consistency - Day 6

The Community - Day 7

Receive an email each day covering the basics of the NeverFap Deluxe Method!

NeverFap Deluxe
Latest Guided Meditation EP3 - Free Guided Meditation Series
Available on iTunes, Spotify and Castbox. Open Source under the GNU GPLv3 licence.