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Your Porn Addiction Is Not Who You Are

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You porn addiction and your feelings about porn are completely separate from who you actually are.

tldr;

There is no such thing as a "healthy" tolerance of porn.

Mechanically speaking, porn addiction has no inherent meaning. It is merely a self-reinforcing process.

2019-02-11

Porn addicts often struggle to dissociate themselves from their addiction.

In part because porn addiction plays on a very primal, and natural human response.


Otherwise known as attraction.


After all, what is the difference between being attracted to a person in front of you, as opposed to a person on your computer screen doing rather promiscuous things?

According to your brain, there really isn’t much of a distinguishable difference at all.

What this effectively does is have us question whether we’re truly addicted at all.

You know, because being attracted to other human beings is just one of those things that we seem to do by design, so what then seems to be the big deal?

Which expresses itself into edging, claiming that porn is in fact ‘art’ and therefore okay in small doses, along a host of hilarious excuses that we can manage to come up with.


I am here to tell you that this is purely your addiction trying to convince you otherwise.


From a mechanical perspective, porn addiction is really quite similar to porn recovery.

The reason why you are addicted to porn because you did not develop the skills and abilities in order to prevent yourself from successfully refraining from watching porn.

It’s not because you genuinely think porn is fascinating, or because you think you can’t help yourself because you’re a guy, or because you’ve been watching it since you were 12.

It’s because you never developed the ability.

And what happens is that people don’t realise it’s nothing more than an ability, and so they come up with all these excuses instead to try and justify their behaviour.


Instead, what we're going to do is focus on developing this ability.


No different to porn addiction, the reason why you will be able to successfully overcome porn addiction, is because you have the skills and abilities to refrain from watching porn.

Not because you’ve managed to trick your mind into believing that porn is wrong, not because you’ve successfully managed to use fear to deter yourself from watching porn, nor because you’re just a really disciplined person.

It’s because you’ve managed to develop that ability.

And once you realise this, no longer will you feel compelled to seek any sort of justification for your actions.


You simply won't need to.


Instead, you’ll identify them for the excuses they are, and actually focus on actions which will meaningfully impact your porn addiction.

Such as engaging in daily meditation.

More importantly however, you’ll come to understand something very important about human will and desire.

Precisely, that it is and always will be completely independent of almost everything and anything.

Which is to say that there is no inherent “meaning” or “purpose” in life.


There is only your ability and your commitment towards developing it.


In the case of porn addiction, it’s watching porn everyday and subconsciously reinforcing that behaviour every single day with your actions.

In the case of porn recovery, it’s meditating every single day and reinforcing your ability to control your mind.

No one commitment or ability is truly different from the other.

It is merely a choice you make based on what you want from life.


Sure, you can claim that you're a porn addict due to x, y and z.


However this kind of thinking simply isn’t reflective of reality, nor can it help you overcome your porn addiction.

Because porn addiction is a process, not a retrospective idea based in any number of infinite possibilities.

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