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Why You May Be Struggling With Your Meditation

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In this article we discuss some of the way people may struggle with practicing meditation in general.

tldr;

The purpose of meditation is to help you maintain balance.

It can help to think of meditation as a form of observation, no different to seeing or smelling.

2019-08-04

Today we’re going to be talking about some of the ways people struggle with meditation.

Personally speaking it turns out I was doing it wrong for years without realising it, which arguably set my recovery back …well, years.

In a lot of cases, we struggle because we completely misunderstand the purpose and intention of meditation, and so we end up practicing meditation with all the wrong ideas in mind.

I know when I was starting out with my own porn recovery journey, I was meditating 30 - 40 minutes per day and it literally made zero difference to how I was feeling at all.

Hell, I wasn’t even doing it to overcome porn addiction persay, I was just doing it because apparently it was a “healthy thing” to do, and so why the hell not!?

Of course, without understanding the true purpose of meditation, the practice didn’t stick and so I stopped doing it for a number of years, only to return to it with a new-found appreciation later on down the track.

Which essentially revolutionised absolutely everything I know about porn addiction recovery today, so let’s dive in.


Why meditate?


The practice of meditation serves one very clear purpose, which is to help you maintain balance.

It won’t necessarily make you completely invulnerable to experiencing urges, nor will it necessarily remove the brain fog you feel when you give in to your urges and orgasm.

Although it may certainly do those things in certain contexts, if you’re able to remain balanced.

At it’s core I would describe meditation as a useful tool which can help recalibrate your mind towards becoming calmer, focused and more aware of itself.

Which is great, because these traits are ultimately what will allow you to cope more effectively in life without feeling as if you need to resort to porn or masturbation.

In fact, remaining calm and collected becomes the coping mechanism itself, because once you realise that you’re able to get through life without suffering or putting yourself into compromising situations, then that within itself becomes the reward.

Of course, part of the reason why I failed to understand the core concepts of meditation was also due to the severe mental health issues I was dealing with at the time.

And chances are that you may be going through something similar, and that’s cool too. We all have to start somewhere, no matter how poor our circumstances.

In addition, another thing to understand about NeverFap Deluxe is that it assumes that you’re already sorting out all of the other issues in your life.

Like, you’re trying to follow a healthy diet, you’re exercising frequently, you’re working on yourself and you’re geniunely motivated to want to do this.

Obviously if you’re eating junk food everyday, getting stoned on a daily basis and are abusing yourself in other ways, then meditation alone isn’t going to help you significantly.

I suppose what I’m trying to say is that although these things are super important, especially in regards to maintaining balance, they’re also not the primary focus of the NeverFap Deluxe.

Instead, we try and focus our efforts on explaining the mental health side of things, and we assume you’re looking elsewhere for that kind of advice.

I mean, I’m certainly no dietician.

So with that in mind, here are some tips and tricks which you might find useful.


Meditation is a form of observation.


Perhaps the most significant reason why people struggle with meditation is because they simply misunderstand what it is.

In large part due to the poor explanations used to describe the practice of meditation.

People will describe it as ‘emptying your mind’ or ‘focusing without thought’ and it’s a bit like describing a book as ‘pages with words’ or ‘a conceptual narrative’.

It doesn’t actually capture the essence of what meditation is actually about, especially from a process point of view.

Sure, on some fundamental level it is about ‘emptying your mind’ but that’s merely a by-product of having successfully practiced meditation.

Which is to say that describing the end-result doesn’t actually explain how to do it effectively.

Instead, it’s actually about observing your senses and once you understand this, then everything becomes super easy and you’ll find yourself naturally emptying your mind without even thinking about it.

Inherently, it can help to understand that meditation at it’s core is about actively engaging your mind, and that your senses (that is your sight and your hearing etc.) are merely an extension of this.

And so by focusing on our senses, it can allow us to easily practice meditation without feeling confused as to what we’re actually supposed to do.

Afterall, our senses are something that we can all relate to and understanding on a physical level.

Everyone can relate to the feeling of touch, but the feeling of an “empty mind”?

Not so much.


Don't meditate with your eyes closed.


This is probably the biggest mistake most people make.

While meditating with your eyes closed is a perfectly valid way to meditate, I would certainly not recommend it for those starting out with meditation.

Meditation ultimately is about actively engaging your mind and for those new to the practice, closing your eyes is the perfect way to disengage from that process and just fall asleep instead.

Furthermore, it’s a lot easier to meditate with our eyes open because our vision is what helps us connect with reality (remember, we’re all about connecting with our senses), and so to remove that makes it incredibly difficult for us to focus and engage.

One thing you’ll notice as well is that it actually takes quite a lot of effort to leave your eyes closed, compared to leaving them open.

But yeah, make it easy for yourself to engage with your mind and leave them open.


Don't meditate lying down.


This is another one of those things which people do, which is a HUGE no-no.

Much like how you shouldn’t close your eyes during meditation, lying down another thing which people do which severely diminishes their ability to actively engage with their mind while meditating.

I think the reason why people end up doing this is because they assume that meditation is solely about remaining calm and quieting your mind (as opposed to engaging with your mind) and so they think being semi-asleep on the floor is actually an effective form of meditation.

However, I can safely say that it largely defeats the purpose of meditation, and is really no different to tiring yourself out as coping mechanism.

It is a form of distraction which does nothing to teach you self-awareness or self-control.

Instead, you really should be sitting up with a straight back while you practice your meditations, while keeping your body as relaxed and as tensionless as possible.

Of course, I’m sure there are a lot of different reasons why people struggle with meditation, and this is not an exhaustive list by any means.

For a lot of people it can be as simple as feeling fearful of what might happen once they reconnect with their mind on a fundamental level, which is preventing them from truly letting go and embracing themselves.

In some cases, a person may have become so accustomed to distracting themselves that the very idea of meditation may seem completely intangible and foreign to them.

Regardless, you’re certainly not alone in your journey and NeverFap Deluxe provides a wealth of knowledge to help you get through your own personal porn recovery journey.

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