What It Feels Like Not To Be Addicted To Porn

tldr;

My porn addiction feels like a distant memory.

Your mind becomes clear and for the first time you actually begin to feel genuinely happy.

2019-04-14

One thing which people often ask me is:


What does it feel like not to be addicted to porn?


And it’s an interesting question, because it’s something I often think about and I think I’ve finally found a way to convey this message accurately.

If I had to provide an appropriate analogy which summarises what it feels like not to be addicted to porn, I would ask you to think back to when you were 7 years’ old.

Now, for most people this is a rather distant memory.

I personally remember very little about what my life was like back then, although if I had to approximate I would say that I was in Grade 2 and that I had a relatively simple life.

I don’t remember any particular details, the people in it, nor is it something which really evokes any sort of emotion, regret or anything.

It just was a period of time within which I existed, no different to my existence now.


Well, that memory kind of sums up how I also feel about my previous porn addiction.


Which is to say that my porn addiction is a lot like a distant memory to me.

While I remember the attachment and depression that resulted from it, I don’t remember a whole lot of the specifics in terms of why I did it, nor even what it felt like.

Furthermore, I don’t really have any feelings towards it, since I haven’t experienced the guilt, shame and sadness that arose from my habit in quite a very long time.

Instead, you could say that it feels no different to being 7 years’ old.


From a process point of view, it's actually quite astounding to understand why it's all a distant memory to me.


For starters, I’m obviously not watching porn.

But let’s really dig into what this actually means, because being a porn addict is so much more than just ‘watching porn’ and turning into a pile of inconspicuous jelly.

From a time perspective, I’m no longer spending hours everyday looking at porn.

Which not only means physically watching porn, but also dedicating time to watch porn which could otherwise be spent on more productive pursuits.

Another aspect which people don’t consider is the mental overhead of planning and organising that time as well.

In my case, it meant consciously thinking about how I could masturbate to porn without my partner knowing, which not only affected my behaviour around her, but my mood as well if I hadn’t orgasmed in a while.


At it's worst, it was completely controlling my behaviour to a point of absolute obsession.


There were times where I used to even do it at work, because I’d had a bad day or I was feeling particularly desperate.

I remember when I was working in a very confined office, I went as far as to walk to the local library so I could use my laptop and get a better image, rather than with my phone which I could afford to sneak into the toilet.

You know, much like when I was absolutely obsessed with video games as a 7 year old, to a point where I would cry if my mother didn’t let me play.

Of course, it’s funny to look back at these memories and certainly, as awkward as it is to admit some of these things, because I haven’t relived these behaviours in such a long time, it no longer affects me personally.


Certainly, the biggest thing that's changed is my mental state.


The behaviours that arose from porn addiction aside, the thing which I’ve noticed most is the improvement in my energy and mental state.

You know that post-relapse dopamine brain-fog fun-land of hell?

Well, that’s truly a thing of the past and my mind is in a constant state of being level and clear, especially with my daily routine of meditation help balance things out.

I’m no longer irrationally depressed and my emotions are no longer tipping up and down, like a bunch of ADHD kids on a see-saw.

But wow, what a difference.


I distinctly remember that feeling of calm I felt when I first started meditating.


It was mind-boggling. It was like I’d finally felt peace and control for the first time in my porn recovery journey.

It was at that point that I knew I would never be addicted to porn again, because I’d finally discovered a way to effortlessly tame my mind.

And that’s another thing which a lot of people don’t realise: When you overcome your porn addiction, life actually becomes easy and enjoyable.

Because your emotions aren’t all over the place, it becomes really easy to commit to your goals, and an amazing side effect of this is that you actually become happy.


Like, not obsessive happy or manic happy, but just genuinely happy.


The kind of happiness that doesn’t ask anything of you, and which makes you feel completely at peace with yourself.

While it’s been a long and arduous journey getting to this point, I can definitely say that once you experience all these wonderful things, you’ll never want to go back.

Of course, the hard part is getting to a point where you finally do feel this kind of peace, which is why we emphasise the importance of practice and consistency.

As long as you stick with the process, you will absolutely succeed with your goal of overcoming porn addiction.

It’s also part of the reason why I’ve put so much effort into crafting NeverFap Deluxe so that the process can make intuitive sense to you.

I know you can do it.

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Questions?

Head on down to our NeverFap Deluxe subreddit or Discord channel where myself and others can help you with your questions.

7 Day NeverFap Deluxe Kickstarter

Introduction - Day 0

The Trust - Day 1

The Awareness - Day 2

The Calmness - Day 3

The Meditation - Day 4

The Relapse - Day 5

The Consistency - Day 6

The Community - Day 7

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