I just thought I’d take the time today to share a cool trick I’d learnt over the years in regards to helping people overcoming difficult situations.
An important thing to note about difficult situations, is that often it isn’t even the situations themselves which make them difficult.
Often, it’s our own inability to respond to these situations, which makes them inherently difficult.
Either we become too anxious, we find ourselves trapped in fear or we act in a way that is counter-productive without truly realising or understanding why.
Which is to say that more often than not, the problem is us.
This is in part due to the self-limiting beliefs we may have about ourselves, as well as what responding effectively might entail.
In particular, a lot this ineffectiveness stems from our fear of letting go or the consequences of what might happen if we were to let go of these self-limiting beliefs.
Which ironically leads to self-destructive behaviours since self-perceived fear in no way conveys any indication of safe behaviours moving forward, only behaviours to avoid.
Which usually prevents us from proceeding with those helpful actions we were aiming for to begin with.
Certainly, while self-limiting beliefs aren’t something which can be dismantled overnight, there’s a certain mindset which I find helps deal with these situations.
In particular, the trick is to realise that nothing is important.
In essence, by learning to treat everything as unimportant, we can learn to dissasociate ourselves from these self-limiting beliefs, and instead just go with the flow.
In other words, this is an exercise in distrusting ourselves.
Now, although it may seem like reckless advice, it’s actually incredibly sound when you get into the logic of how this mindset interacts with the way we think about our ego.
When you make the statement “nothing is important” you’re actually making a very essential claim about yourself and the situation.
In particular, that nothing is ever important enough to self-harm or do harm.
You see, you’re not preventing anything positive here by learning to let go and assume everything is unimportant, primarily because there was nothing positive to begin with.
If all you know is self-destructive behaviours, which in most cases is true, then detaching from them certainly isn’t a negative thing.
Oh, but what if there are some constructive behaviuors in the mix, you might say?
Well, that’s also irrelevant because in actual fact, what we are doing here is much more profound than that promoting certain behaviours.
Instead, what we are doing is learning to calm down and get ourselves to a point of non-reaction.
You see, the problem in most cases when we’re irrational or feeling compulsive is that we develop this desire to react in some way.
In a lot of cases it’s instinctual.
We feel awful. We feel obliged to do something about it, only to end up relapsing or doing something harmful like eat an entire bag of chips.
However what people don't realise is that in 90% of cases, the correct thing to do is not react.
In fact, that’s part of the core tennant of what NeverFap Deluxe is all about, learning to remain calm and composed inspite of what you’re feeling.
To go into more detail, essentially 5% of our time should be spent practicing awareness via meditation, while the other 95% of our time should be spent remaining calm.
Furthermore, the sooner you realise that you have no obligation to react, the sooner you’ll be able to act more effectively out of principle.
Another key thing to note about obligation is that it’s merely a feeling.
And by understanding that nothing is important, we can directly challenge this feeling in a way that bypasses it entirely.
The sooner you learn to dismantle your ego and your thoughts, the quicker you’ll be able to help yourself in a more constructive way.
In particular, by remaining in control.