Some people have a difficult time letting go.
For example, some people will continue to latch onto negative feelings, regardless of whether these feelings are productive, let alone help us feel empowered about who who we are.
Others have a hard time letting go of their own thoughts, as they find themselves paralyzed in indecision, stuck in a cycle of incessant rationality and self-judgement.
Failure to let go may even extend to the toxic people in our lives, or even the self-limiting beliefs we have about ourselves, that we’re simply “not good enough” or “undeserving” of love and attention.
Regardless of what it is we’re struggling with, the solution all points to the same thing.
Learning to let go and learning to become free of these unproductive attributes.
Of course, if it were as simple as walking away, none of us would have any problems and we’d all be clear of our addiction and a-ok to continue with our lives.
Well, today I’m here to discuss not only the importance of letting go, but also how you can achieve this purpose by changing the way we think about attachment.
Part of the reason why people struggle with letting go, is because there’s a great fear and misunderstanding surrounding this idea of what letting go truly is.
At first glance people will usually assume the worst.
They’ll view letting go as this process of inherently losing something.
In particular, losing a part of themselves that they believe to be not only valuable, but irreplaceable.
A part of themselves which they’ve contributed towards for so long, that they can no longer distinguish between themselves from ‘it’.
Under these circumstances, letting go then becomes this deep-seated fear of loss, potentially leaving this hollow shell of nothingness which we may end up regretting.
Well, I'm here to tell you that this makes no sense what-so-ever.
You see, you don’t actually lose anything by letting go.
There is no ‘void’ once something leaves.
If you think of the conscious human experience as a bunch of brain waves moving forward, those waves don’t suddenly disappear the moment you let something go.
Nor do you experience less waves, nor more.
The only time this ever happens is when you die, and since you’re still very much alive and conscious once you let go, nothing is even lost in a metaphysical sense.
Those brain waves will still keep chugging along at the same rate as they did prior to when you didn’t let go.
So what actually happens then?
Well, what happens is that it allows you to experience different waves.
Much like those brain waves which are being produced each second, it can help to think of the brain as a conveyor belt in an ice-cream factory.
Regardless of which flavour of ice-cream you decide to produce, that conveyor belt is still going to be producing ice-cream none-the-less.
If you think of all the awful things in your life as terrible flavours of ice-cream, then letting go of them isn’t going to suddenly stop producing ice-cream.
Instead, what happens is quite remarkable.
What happens is that you begin producing neutral, vanilla ice-cream.
Not worse ice-cream, just normal, plain ice-cream.
And you know what? Plain ice-cream tastes a hell of a lot better than bad ice-cream.
Which is to say that by letting go of those awful flavours, you essentially allow yourself the opportuinty to start from scratch and create new amazing ones.
Put simply, you can’t make great ice-cream from crap ice-cream.
You need to start with neutral base and that’s essentially what letting go provides.
What people don't realise is that letting go is in fact an opportunity.
It’s an opportunity to experience something new. Something exciting. Something magical.
Of course, half the challenge is that people remain so devoid of experiencing anything nice, that they therefore assume that these ‘non-awful’ experiences simply don’t exist.
Well, they do, as long as you change your understanding of loss and fear in relation to letting go, as I’ve mentioned in this article.
Often what can help is to simply commit to the process without expectation. A lot of the time that’s how I approach my gym workouts.
Because sometimes feelings simply disagree. Sometimes you don’t feel like working out, but that doesn’t denote the importance of why you should be working out consistently.
So how do you effectively let go?
Well, like anything in life, it simply comes down to a matter of practice and consistency.
There are quite a few exercises in our practices section on NeverFap Deluxe, which are designed to help dissolve your ego.
And help you dissociate from your thoughts and feelings, so your ability to enact conscsious action can be exercised in full.
What Can Your Hand Do? and Stop Absolutely Everything You’re Doing are good places to start for most people, although each exercise provides a different focus.
Essentially, anything which can help you challenge that feeling of obligation you have not to let go, can certainly help on a cognitive and mental level.
So get crackin’ buddy. Your mental health won’t sort itself out without you.