This website primarily uses cookies to implement Dark Mode.

The Dutch made me put this message on my website.

Read more

I totally understand

Dark Mode

Menu.

x

Guides

Content

Programs

Volunteer

Apps

Misc

The Importance Of Letting Go

/the-importance-of-letting-go

This article describes the importance of letting go and how it relates to our ability to respond effectively.

tldr;

Learning to let go is one of the most important things we can do as human beings.

Essentially, you lose nothing by letting go. Instead, it's an opporunity to experience something different.

2019-05-20

Some people have a difficult time letting go.

For example, some people will continue to latch onto negative feelings, regardless of whether these feelings are productive, let alone help us feel empowered about who who we are.

Others have a hard time letting go of their own thoughts, as they find themselves paralyzed in indecision, stuck in a cycle of incessant rationality and self-judgement.

Failure to let go may even extend to the toxic people in our lives, or even the self-limiting beliefs we have about ourselves, that we’re simply “not good enough” or “undeserving” of love and attention.

Regardless of what it is we’re struggling with, the solution all points to the same thing.


Learning to let go and learning to become free of these unproductive attributes.


Of course, if it were as simple as walking away, none of us would have any problems and we’d all be clear of our addiction and a-ok to continue with our lives.

Well, today I’m here to discuss not only the importance of letting go, but also how you can achieve this purpose by changing the way we think about attachment.

Part of the reason why people struggle with letting go, is because there’s a great fear and misunderstanding surrounding this idea of what letting go truly is.

At first glance people will usually assume the worst.

They’ll view letting go as this process of inherently losing something.

In particular, losing a part of themselves that they believe to be not only valuable, but irreplaceable.

A part of themselves which they’ve contributed towards for so long, that they can no longer distinguish between themselves from ‘it’.

Under these circumstances, letting go then becomes this deep-seated fear of loss, potentially leaving this hollow shell of nothingness which we may end up regretting.


Well, I'm here to tell you that this makes no sense what-so-ever.


You see, you don’t actually lose anything by letting go.

There is no ‘void’ once something leaves.

If you think of the conscious human experience as a bunch of brain waves moving forward, those waves don’t suddenly disappear the moment you let something go.

Nor do you experience less waves, nor more.

The only time this ever happens is when you die, and since you’re still very much alive and conscious once you let go, nothing is even lost in a metaphysical sense.

Those brain waves will still keep chugging along at the same rate as they did prior to when you didn’t let go.

So what actually happens then?


Well, what happens is that it allows you to experience different waves.


Much like those brain waves which are being produced each second, it can help to think of the brain as a conveyor belt in an ice-cream factory.

Regardless of which flavour of ice-cream you decide to produce, that conveyor belt is still going to be producing ice-cream none-the-less.

If you think of all the awful things in your life as terrible flavours of ice-cream, then letting go of them isn’t going to suddenly stop producing ice-cream.

Instead, what happens is quite remarkable.

What happens is that you begin producing neutral, vanilla ice-cream.

Not worse ice-cream, just normal, plain ice-cream.

And you know what? Plain ice-cream tastes a hell of a lot better than bad ice-cream.

Which is to say that by letting go of those awful flavours, you essentially allow yourself the opportuinty to start from scratch and create new amazing ones.

Put simply, you can’t make great ice-cream from crap ice-cream.

You need to start with neutral base and that’s essentially what letting go provides.


What people don't realise is that letting go is in fact an opportunity.


It’s an opportunity to experience something new. Something exciting. Something magical.

Of course, half the challenge is that people remain so devoid of experiencing anything nice, that they therefore assume that these ‘non-awful’ experiences simply don’t exist.

Well, they do, as long as you change your understanding of loss and fear in relation to letting go, as I’ve mentioned in this article.

Often what can help is to simply commit to the process without expectation. A lot of the time that’s how I approach my gym workouts.

Because sometimes feelings simply disagree. Sometimes you don’t feel like working out, but that doesn’t denote the importance of why you should be working out consistently.

So how do you effectively let go?

Well, like anything in life, it simply comes down to a matter of practice and consistency.

There are quite a few exercises in our practices section on NeverFap Deluxe, which are designed to help dissolve your ego.

And help you dissociate from your thoughts and feelings, so your ability to enact conscsious action can be exercised in full.

What Can Your Hand Do? and Stop Absolutely Everything You’re Doing are good places to start for most people, although each exercise provides a different focus.

Essentially, anything which can help you challenge that feeling of obligation you have not to let go, can certainly help on a cognitive and mental level.

So get crackin’ buddy. Your mental health won’t sort itself out without you.

Share on:

Comments

There are no comments yet for this article!

Leave A Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.

Further Questions?

Head on down to our NeverFap Deluxe subreddit or Discord channel where myself and others can help you with your questions.

Personal Coaching?

Let's organise a 10 Minute FREE Consultation so you can understand how The Reade© can help you achieve your goals.

NeverFap Deluxe Family

The NeverFap Deluxe Bible

/neverfap-deluxe-bible

Guided NeverFap Deluxe Meditation Series

/meditation

7 Day NeverFap Deluxe Kickstarter

/seven-day-kickstarter

Chrome NeverFap Deluxe Extension

/chrome-extension

Firefox NeverFap Deluxe Extension

/firefox-extension

Mobile NeverFap Deluxe Android App

/mobile-app

The NeverFap Deluxe Subreddit

/r/NeverFapDeluxe

YouTube NeverFap Deluxe Channel

/neverfap-deluxe-youtube

Twitter NeverFap Deluxe Account

/neverfap-deluxe-twitter

GitHub NeverFap Deluxe Open Source

/open-source

Instagram NeverFap Deluxe Account

/neverfap-deluxe-instagram

The NeverFap Deluxe Patreon

/neverfap-deluxe-patreon

Facebook NeverFap Deluxe Page

/neverfap-deluxe-facebook

Pinterest NeverFap Deluxe Account

/neverfap-deluxe-pinterest

Tumblr NeverFap Deluxe Account

/neverfap-deluxe-tumblr

Latest Articles

The Most Important Thing Porn Addicts Don't Do

/the-most-important-thing-porn-addicts-dont-do

This article describes how porn addicts delay their recovery by not properly engaging with the process.

Summary:

  • The most important thing porn addicts don't do is consciously engage with their mind.
  • Instead, they remain within their own comfort zone, often without realising it.

Why You May Be Struggling With Your Meditation

/why-you-may-be-struggling-with-your-meditation

In this article we discuss some of the way people may struggle with practicing meditation in general.

Summary:

  • The purpose of meditation is to help you maintain balance.
  • It can help to think of meditation as a form of observation, no different to seeing or smelling.

What Is Sex Like Post Recovery?

/what-is-sex-like-post-recovery

What is sex like once you've fully recovered from porn addiction? Well, it's great. No questions asked.

Summary:

  • Put simply, it's great.
  • However, chances are that your issues with sex extend well-beyond your porn addiction.

The Fallacy Of Willpower

/the-fallacy-of-willpower

In this article I discuss how willpower is used to create a false sense of hope, as well as how it's simply an ineffective way of thinking about recovery.

Summary:

  • Willpower merely cultivates a false sense of hope.
  • The alternative to willpower is to engage in conscious change.

What Does It Mean To Relapse?

/what-does-it-mean-to-relapse

In this article I explore the definition of relapse, and how this whole idea of relapse is entirely counter-productive to our recovery.

Summary:

  • Relapse is a pointless concept which does nothing to empower you with positive action.
  • I define relapse as anything which doesn't help you develop control over your mind.

My Personal Meditation Routine

/my-personal-meditation-routine

In this article I discuss my personal meditation routine and how I personally use it to help me maintain balance in life.

Summary:

  • At a minimum I meditate 10 minutes each day before bed.
  • I also use other opportunities throughout the day to meditate and practice awareness.

When Are You Fully Recovered From Your Porn Addiction?

/when-are-you-fully-recovered-from-your-porn-addiction

You are fully recovered from your porn addiction when you're 100% confident you can deal with any situation without relapsing.

Summary:

  • You are fully recovered when you're 100% confident you can deal with any possible situation without relapsing.
  • For most people (including myself) 100% confidence is impossible, although we can learn to deal with 90% of difficult situations easily.
  • You become able to deal with every possible situation once you develop the skills to remain calm and aware of yourself no matter what.

7 Day NeverFap Deluxe Kickstarter

Boost your knowledge of meditation and awareness best practice with our FREE NeverFap Deluxe 7 day email series.

The Introduction - Day 0

The Trust - Day 1

The Awareness - Day 2

The Calmness - Day 3

The Meditation - Day 4

The Relapse - Day 5

The Consistency - Day 6

The Community - Day 7

Receive an email each day covering the basics of the NeverFap Deluxe Method!

NeverFap Deluxe
Latest NeverFap Deluxe Podcast EP11 - Practice And Consistency Are Your Best Friends.
Available on iTunes, Spotify and Castbox. Open Source under the GNU GPLv3 licence.