This website primarily uses cookies to implement Dark Mode.

The Dutch made me put this message on my website.

Read more

I totally understand

Dark Mode

Menu.

x

Guides

Content

Programs

Volunteer

Apps

Misc

The Biggest Judgement Porn Addicts Make

/the-biggest-judgement-porn-addicts-make

There is one hidden judgement that porn addicts make the most, which leads to sabotage of our porn recovery journey.

tldr;

The biggest judgement we make is when we self-criticise for doing something we feel we shouldn't have.

There is no right or wrong. There is merely the control you have over your mind.

2019-03-17

Most porn addicts struggle with judgement, whether judging others or feeling judged themselves.

Certainly, it’s part of the reason why we fall into these cycles of watching porn, immediately criticising ourselves for our actions, which then makes us feel worse about ourselves, which then propels us to continue watching porn and continue masturbating in order to feel better.

It’s a cycle I’m sure you’re more-than familiar with, just as I once was.

This response of self-criticism is one which often runs deep into how we think, as a habit which most people have developed since childhood.

A habit which has become so prominent in our lives, that we simply don’t even realise we’re doing it much, if any of the time.

Usually because when we make a judgement it can happen so quickly and so automatically.

To a point where we may have even begun to view it as something normal, rather than something harmful that needs to be addressed.


Especially, if it's a judgement directed at ourselves.


Which is to say that we are our own worst critic.

Whether through habits we developed from our parents or perhaps learnt via our own means, self-judgement is arguably one of the most harmful things we do as human beings.

And it’s the reason why we find ourselves stuck in these cycles of addiction, as well as feel terrible about ourselves, often for no reason at all.

Essentially, many of us have a habit of telling ourselves off whenever we feel as if we’ve done something wrong.

“I shouldn’t have stared at that woman.”

“I shouldn’t be feeling this way.”

“I can’t believe I did that.”

All trains of thought which lead to despair, hopelessness and self-harm i.e. watching porn.

Of course, if reacting with judgement is all you know, then it will inherently feel like a natural thing to do, even inspite of reading these words.


Well, I'm here to tell you today that it's not natural, and that it's a learnt habit no different to smoking everyday or being abusive towards others.


It’s an aspect of your personality which you have developed, and which you have likely reinforced every single day since you were young.

Which is fine, because through awareness we can change these behaviours for the better.

Certainly, I used to be incredibly self-critical up until my early 20s, but that doesn’t mean it’s the only way to think about life.

The alternative on the other hand is not to judge, and instead, to refrain from having an opinion.

Which may sound baffling to some, but it’s also incredibly sound if you take the time to actually think about it.

Which is to say that instead of reacting with judgement, the idea is to remain calm at all times.

If not because remaining calm is what allows you to be effective with anything you do, whether it be working on your ambitions or simply being happy within the moment.

So how do you get to this point?

Essentially, by developing your awareness so you can catch those judgements as they happen, and in future prevent yourself from reacting at all.

At first you’ll only be able to catch yourself mid-judgement.

However the longer you practice this, the better you’ll be able to catch yourself ahead of time, and eventually the whole process will become so automatic that you won’t even have to think about it.

You will simply exist judgement free.

There’s a specific practice which helps target this called Catch Out Your Judgements in the practices section of NeverFap Deluxe.

I highly recommend checking it out.

Share on:

Comments

There are no comments yet for this article!

Leave A Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.

Further Questions?

Head on down to our NeverFap Deluxe subreddit or Discord where myself and others can help you with your questions.

Personal Coaching?

Let's organise a 10 Minute FREE Consultation so you can understand how The Reade© can help you achieve your goals.

NeverFap Deluxe Family

The NeverFap Deluxe Bible

/neverfap-deluxe-bible

Guided NeverFap Deluxe Meditation Series

/meditation

7 Day NeverFap Deluxe Kickstarter

/seven-day-kickstarter

Chrome NeverFap Deluxe Extension

/chrome-extension

Firefox NeverFap Deluxe Extension

/firefox-extension

Mobile NeverFap Deluxe Android App

/mobile-app

The NeverFap Deluxe Subreddit

/r/NeverFapDeluxe

YouTube NeverFap Deluxe Channel

/neverfap-deluxe-youtube

Twitter NeverFap Deluxe Account

/neverfap-deluxe-twitter

GitHub NeverFap Deluxe Open Source

/open-source

Instagram NeverFap Deluxe Account

/neverfap-deluxe-instagram

The NeverFap Deluxe Patreon

/neverfap-deluxe-patreon

Facebook NeverFap Deluxe Page

/neverfap-deluxe-facebook

Pinterest NeverFap Deluxe Account

/neverfap-deluxe-pinterest

Tumblr NeverFap Deluxe Account

/neverfap-deluxe-tumblr

Latest Articles

The Importance Of Developing A Mental Health Plan

/the-importance-of-developing-a-mental-health-plan

In this article we speak about the importance of having a solid mental health plan in place and how this can assist you with your recovery.

Summary:

  • Having a solid mental health plan puts you ahead of most people.
  • A mental health plan is designed to provide you with hard certainty.

Does Being In A Relationship Help With Overcoming Porn Addiction?

/does-being-in-a-relationship-help-with-overcoming-porn-addiction

In this article I discuss whether being in a relationship can help with your porn addiction recovery.

Summary:

  • Being in a relationship can help you better overcome your addiction.
  • Being in a relationship is by no means necessary for recovery.
  • Porn addiction recovery has absolutely nothing to do with sex.

Why We Struggle

/why-we-struggle

By identifying how we struggle, we can better understand the dynamics with which we think about the problems in our life.

Summary:

  • Struggle is a reflection of how you respond to expectation.
  • By learning to dissolve expectation we can learn to live without struggle in life.

The Difference Between NoFap And NeverFap Deluxe

/the-difference-between-nofap-and-neverfapdeluxe

In this article I discuss the fundamental difference between NoFap and NeverFap Deluxe as porn recovery ideologies.

Summary:

  • NeverFap Deluxe provides an opinionated method for recovery, while NoFap is not.
  • NeverFap Deluxe aims to rectify all of the shortcomings of NoFap.

Is Porn Fundamentally Wrong?

/is-porn-fundamentally-wrong

In this article I explore some this idea of pornography and whether it is wrong from a moral perspective.

Summary:

  • I don't believe there is anything fundamentally wrong with porn.
  • It's not a healthy attitude towards recovery, nor does it help us recover.

There Are No Super Powers When You Quit Porn

/there-are-no-super-powers-when-you-quit-porn

In this article I explore this idea of "super powers" and the benefits people perceive they might receive once they overcome their porn addiction.

Summary:

  • Overcoming porn addiction allows you to live your life with greater purpose.
  • Overcoming porn addiction doesn't instantly grant you anything, only a renewed opportunity to develop as an individual.

The Fallacy Of Motivation

/the-fallacy-of-motivation

In this article I write about the pitfalls of using motivation as a driving force for change in the context of porn addiciton recovery.

Summary:

  • Motivation is not persistent, it comes and goes.
  • Only by sticking to fundamental principles can you hope to guarantee success in your recovery.

7 Day NeverFap Deluxe Kickstarter

Boost your knowledge of meditation and awareness best practice with our FREE NeverFap Deluxe 7 day email series.

The Introduction - Day 0

The Trust - Day 1

The Awareness - Day 2

The Calmness - Day 3

The Meditation - Day 4

The Relapse - Day 5

The Consistency - Day 6

The Community - Day 7

Receive an email each day covering the basics of the NeverFap Deluxe Method!

NeverFap Deluxe
Latest Guided Meditation EP3 - Free Guided Meditation Series
Available on iTunes, Spotify and Castbox. Open Source under the GNU GPLv3 licence.