Most porn addicts struggle with judgement, whether judging others or feeling judged themselves.
Certainly, it’s part of the reason why we fall into these cycles of watching porn, immediately criticising ourselves for our actions, which then makes us feel worse about ourselves, which then propels us to continue watching porn and continue masturbating in order to feel better.
It’s a cycle I’m sure you’re more-than familiar with, just as I once was.
This response of self-criticism is one which often runs deep into how we think, as a habit which most people have developed since childhood.
A habit which has become so prominent in our lives, that we simply don’t even realise we’re doing it much, if any of the time.
Usually because when we make a judgement it can happen so quickly and so automatically.
To a point where we may have even begun to view it as something normal, rather than something harmful that needs to be addressed.
Especially, if it's a judgement directed at ourselves.
Which is to say that we are our own worst critic.
Whether through habits we developed from our parents or perhaps learnt via our own means, self-judgement is arguably one of the most harmful things we do as human beings.
And it’s the reason why we find ourselves stuck in these cycles of addiction, as well as feel terrible about ourselves, often for no reason at all.
Essentially, many of us have a habit of telling ourselves off whenever we feel as if we’ve done something wrong.
“I shouldn’t have stared at that woman.”
“I shouldn’t be feeling this way.”
“I can’t believe I did that.”
All trains of thought which lead to despair, hopelessness and self-harm i.e. watching porn.
Of course, if reacting with judgement is all you know, then it will inherently feel like a natural thing to do, even inspite of reading these words.
Well, I'm here to tell you today that it's not natural, and that it's a learnt habit no different to smoking everyday or being abusive towards others.
It’s an aspect of your personality which you have developed, and which you have likely reinforced every single day since you were young.
Which is fine, because through awareness we can change these behaviours for the better.
Certainly, I used to be incredibly self-critical up until my early 20s, but that doesn’t mean it’s the only way to think about life.
The alternative on the other hand is not to judge, and instead, to refrain from having an opinion.
Which may sound baffling to some, but it’s also incredibly sound if you take the time to actually think about it.
Which is to say that instead of reacting with judgement, the idea is to remain calm at all times.
If not because remaining calm is what allows you to be effective with anything you do, whether it be working on your ambitions or simply being happy within the moment.
So how do you get to this point?
Essentially, by developing your awareness so you can catch those judgements as they happen, and in future prevent yourself from reacting at all.
At first you’ll only be able to catch yourself mid-judgement.
However the longer you practice this, the better you’ll be able to catch yourself ahead of time, and eventually the whole process will become so automatic that you won’t even have to think about it.
You will simply exist judgement free.
There’s a specific practice which helps target this called Catch Out Your Judgements in the practices section of NeverFap Deluxe.
I highly recommend checking it out.
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