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Is Porn Fundamentally Wrong?

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In this article I explore some this idea of pornography and whether it is wrong from a moral perspective.

tldr;

I don't believe there is anything fundamentally wrong with porn.

It's not a healthy attitude towards recovery, nor does it help us recover.

2019-11-01

I think this is an important topic to discuss, because the porn addiction recovery process can be a particularly emotional one, which can lead to all sorts of thoughts and opinions which may not necessarily be productive to our recovery.

Especially in the midst of relapse where we can feel angry, frustrated and broken, as if porn itself has become this kind of conceptual devil which refuses us to let us continue to live our lives with any sort of integrity.

Well, rather than create these false narratives which in no way helps us develop Healthy Coping Mechanisms, nor helps us develop control over our minds in any meaningful way.

Let’s instead try and understand these feelings a little better, so we can move past them and grow as individuals.

So, is there anything fundamentally wrong with porn?


Personally speaking, I don't believe there is anything fundamentally wrong with porn.


In fact, this whole idea of anything being fundamentally wrong is simply counter-productive to our own personal development as individuals.

Ultimately, the main reason for this is because any amount of belief, both positive and negative, requires an extrodinary amount of emotion and conviction to maintain.

Energy which we simply do not have, especially when you consider the amount of energy that already gets taken from us on a daily basis when we self-criticise or feel guilt over our own actions.

Not to mention, other unresolved mental health issues as well, which can leave us so emotionally drained at the end of the day, that we simply don’t care whether we relapse or not.

That’s why at NeverFap Deluxe, we place such a strong emphasis on process instead, because process has minimal overhead and doesn’t require trapping ourselves within complex moral arguments in order to claw ourselves forward, only to see it all fade away once we relapse.

This is purely a matter of energy conservation, and when you stick to the core principles and you learn to remain as aware and calm as possible, then you allow yourself the opportunity to recovery and you will begin seeing real results.

And this comes back down to one of the Fundamental Principles of NeverFap Deluxe, Struggle Over None, which states that anything which makes our recovery more difficult cannot fundamentally help us.


Believing that porn is fundamentally wrong is one of those things which makes our recovery more difficult than it needs to be.


Ultimately, what a lot of people fail to realise is that recovery is actually a process of letting go, which also includes things like letting go our thoughts, feelings, judgements and prejudices.

Mental constructs which you don’t truly own, yet which you believe are inseperable from your being, no different to how you view your own porn addiction as an inseperable part of who you are.

The sooner you learn to let go, the sooner you’ll recover and once you do recover, you’ll realise how silly it was that you held onto these unproductive ideas for so long.

Especially once you discover how much more functional you can become as a human being without them, and for a lot of people it’s a bit like, “Wow, I can’t believe I spent so much time doing those self-destructive things, when I could have just been focusing on self-improvement and self-empowerment all along”.

I suppose to point I’m trying to get at is that neutrality always reigns supreme, and it’s impossible to remain neutral while also believing that something is fundamentally wrong.

You know, the purpose of overcoming porn addiction isn’t to feel justified or superior in our actions. In fact, these things merely serve as distractions from the overall purpose of recovery, which is to put an end to harmful behaviours and replace them with functional behaviours which encourage us to be our best selves.

An ideology which extends not only as a solution to our porn viewing habits, but also to how we express our feelings on a very basic level.


So no, there is nothing fundamentally wrong with porn, just as there is nothing fundamentally right about recovering from porn addiction.


Instead, it’s about acknowledging the power of ideas such as neutrality and acceptance as a guiding path forward, if not because it dramatically simplifies the way we think about life, which can only be a good thing.

Furthermore, it’s about understanding that our porn addiction is merely a behaviour at the end of the day which we are trying to change, as opposed to some kind of conspiracy that is out to get you.

And once you embrace this kind of honesty, it can help empower the way that you think about change, without feeling guilt or shame or whatever pre-conceived notions you may have about recovery.

Dissolve the narrative. Reclaim your responbility.

This is what effective recovery is about.

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