I want to talk about choice.
Specifically, how it relates to the Five Fundamental Principles of NeverFap.
The first principle that I almost always introduce to people is Choice over mind, because it is the one principle that most porn addicts (usually) find the most profound.
Choice over mind relates to this idea that we have full control over how we react in life.
It’s an important concept to understand, because once you fully embrace the power of choice in life, you can learn to overcome life’s most difficult challenges.
Of course, assuming you put in the required practice.
In this article I want to help you better understand where you may be misunderstanding this idea of choice.
Because if you truly understood the power you currently have to change as an individual, you most likely wouldn’t be reading NeverFap Deluxe.
So let’s consider this your formal re-education.
What is choice?
It begs to state that everything in life is a choice.
There’s choice in how we feel. Choice in what we want to think. Choice in how we live, and what we want to eat.
In fact, there’s choice in almost everything that happens in life.
And yet, this doesn’t mean that we necessarily get to choose all these things.
We don’t get to choose our race. We don’t get to choose how others live their lives. Hell, we certainly don’t get to choose what the weather will be that day.
And that’s okay.
Because I'm here to tell you that none of this matters.
Here’s the thing.
You do have one choice which is so powerful that it effectively overrides every other choice in your life.
In part, because it is the only choice you truly have control over.
You get to choose how you want to respond.
And it’s a choice which overrides every other choice imaginable.
Of course, I’m sure you’re already aware of this fact. I mean, obviously you have the ability to react to life’s circumstances.
Yet perhaps you don’t quite understand the significance of what this actually means.
Perhaps you’re misinterpretating what having this choice allows you to do, so let’s explore that idea.
When you truly understand what Choice over mind means, it completely changes the way you look at things.
You no longer become victim, or rather you realise that you never were victim, over that which you cannot choose.
So what does it being able to respond actually mean?
Put simply, your ability to respond is the most powerful choice you have, because it is the only choice you as an individual can actually make.
At no point do you have absolute certainty over any outcome in life.
Instead, what you do have is absolute certainty over your actions, and this is quite profound for a few reasons.
If your ability to respond is the only true choice that you have, then it signifies that you have full control over your life.
Because response happens through actions, and actions are the only means through which we can change as human beings.
Which really is to say that you have full control over who you want to become.
In addition, it also signifies that we are all equal in terms of our ability to take action.
Which is to say that we all have that exact same opportunity to become, because we all have the same ability to take action.
From this point of view, everything we are today can be viewed as a sum of our actions.
From a potential point of view, we really are no different.
We both have the exact same potential to respond on a low level with our thoughts and emotions.
The only difference between you and me is in the actions that we've taken over time.
Which is to say that if you responded in the same way that I did, then you also would not be a porn addict.
Success and your actions
The important thing to understand about success is that it doesn’t happen at a high level.
It happens on an emotional and physical level.
Success is the difference between choosing to remain calm in a tense situation, as opposed to losing our cool.
Success isn’t about being wealthy or driving a fast car. Success is about having control over our feelings and emotions.
In the context of porn addiction, success is acknowledging that our cravings for porn are merely habitual, and not to be taken personally.
Success is meditating daily so that we can learn the skills to properly address our porn addiction.
The only difference between someone who has successfully overcome porn addiction and someone who continually fails, is that the person who overcame porn addiction took the right actions to get there.
Porn addicts really are no different from each other.
Every porn addict goes through the same feelings and emotions of helplessness, guilt and depression.
The only difference is in how they choose to respond to these feelings and emotions, so they don’t let them dominate their life.
Now, I’m not suggesting that you’ll be able to face these feelings and emotions by merely being aware of them.
However, what I am suggesting is that with the right guidance and practice, you can develop the ability to be able to.
Moving forward, I recommend checking out our list of NeverFap Deluxe Practices for a list of exercises you can do to develop awareness in your life.